(Actual sign made by actual Craigslister. They're available!)

Think you've outfoxed the apocalypse because it's almost noon on 12.21.12? Sorry to burst your bubble, but the Mayan armadoomsdaypaclypse may still be on.

The land of the ancient Mayans, which lies in present-day southeastern Mexico, is subject to the -6 UTC time zone (same time as Chicago and Houston.) Which means for us in the Pacific realm – probably the most dangerous place to be considering the fault lines and tsunami vulnerability – 10:00pm will be the moment of truth. So spend your last moments with loved ones, reading what could possible be the Guardian’s last cover story ever, or getting some of that sweet dirty Craiglist sex that you’ve heard so much about but were too afraid to try.

Time is obviously of the essence, so we picked out five possible sexual encounters that we believe will be worthy of your last moments on earth. Interestingly enough, some ads require you to be disease free.

- These guys don’t even want sex, they just want to see some boobs! 

- He genuinely wants to be with you for the company, though you’ll have to be the host because he has roommates. 

- It's end times, so go on -- hook up with someone from the Marina.

- Finally! A reason to visit Redwood City! (NSFW)